


Sex, Romance and Masturbation Errors

by DaddyDrac



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Lousy Plot, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation Interruptus, Mother Nature - Freeform, Multi, Porn With Plot, Romantic Comedy, Trevor is an Idiot, Walking In On Someone, puke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 18:27:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19156525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaddyDrac/pseuds/DaddyDrac
Summary: A few months after defeating Dracula and recovering, the trio find themselves in an ordinary inn- and thanks to Trevor's aversion to knocking, an unordinary thing happens- he walks in on lovers doing what lovers do. Now whatever shall he do?





	Sex, Romance and Masturbation Errors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RoxInSocks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoxInSocks/gifts).



> Somehow, this happened XD Actually, it is inspired by RoxInSocks' two-shot of Trevor&Sypha (which is actually seriously good smut), if you didn't, I strongly suggest you go and check it out! After reading it I thought of alternative ways to go, and I got an imagine in my mind, and that imagine became this XD

He didn’t mean to walk in on them- due to the months they have spent on the road together, Trevor got used to the lovers’ room being quite timid. After they defeated Dracula, however, the blond due was getting much friskier, what with the mood being better, and risk lesser. Still, old habits die hard, and Trevor was well damned used to just barging into their room without much notice. 

That is how he ended up barging in on them making love. A tame expression for wild fucking, really. Sypha’s legs were spread wide, allowing Alucard’s slim hips more than enough space to thrust into her. Her head was hanging of the bed, Alucard’s hand on her throat- that explained the lack of moaning, but the expression of pure bliss on her flushed face was enough to make Trevor blush. The sight of her breast bouncing in sync with Alucard’s rhythm had his mouth run dry, and when she opened her eyes, drunk with pleasure, he forgot where he was and in a haste to get out ran straight into a wall rather than through the door. 

„Sorry!“ he yelled, the vision of Alucard’s hungry expression flashing behind his clothes eyes. „I’m sorry, I didn’t see anything!“ what a shameless lie, he saw everything. The way sweat ran down Alucard’s perfectly sculptured chest, the red and teased state of his left nipple, without a doubt a testament of Sypha’s affection. He also knew he will never, for as long as he lives, forget the visual of Alucard’s hard girth slam in and out of Sypha’s wet folds, the slick noise utterly vulgar, even more so when Sypha mewled in pleasure, Alucard apparently relinquishing his control over her delicate neck. 

„Ngh, Treffy, love, we’re... busy...“ she panted, and while he no longer was looking, his mind had no problem coming up with how she must look, her eyes hazy with lust and lips wet with saliva. Gods... 

„Yes, Trevor“ Alucard’s voice was much more controlled, but not even he could keep out breathlessness from his deep baritone. „Leave us, that is, unless you mean to join us“   
That was enough to send him running, this time thankfully he had managed to get the door, and he wasted no time slamming it behind him. 

 

„Sorry about that“ Sypha said half an hour later, when she joined a still red faced Trevor downstairs. The inn keeper rushed over to provide her with salty cheese and good wine for her breakfast- both were rare in the still recovering Wallachia, but the trio that brought its salvation was now enjoying privileges that none of them could imagine before. The sweet treatment was caused by guilt, for the country whole had scorned the heroes before they proved their virtue. It was caused by superstition, belief that if they refuse the trio that the church now proclaimed to be saints, they might bring the demons back upon their heads. And it was caused by fear, because if the three could end the reign of Dracula, whatever could they do to ordinary peasants? 

„Oh, it’s fine. No big deal. Just ordinary stuff, you know? Nothing I haven’t seen before“ Trevor chuckled nervously, hiding behind is ale tankard. That was no easy feat, considering how small it was. For the past few months, Alucard and Sypha have been lessening his alcohol intake, claiming it had a bad influence on him; and while he had no reason to believe that ale and wine could possibly be bad for him, he had to admit he was feeling better since in their care. 

„Seen? Not done?“ Alucard sat right next to him, ever so gracefully. His hair was immaculate and smirk as fresh as ever. It was a new expression on the dhampir, who when Trevor met him was almost as sullen as him. Now, they both seemed to be in lighter spirits, and Trevor learned that even smirks and smugness can be endearing when worn by the right person. Anything could be endearing when worn by the right person, he concluded- except Sypha’s robes. Never before did he pay much mind to her clothes, too enraptured with her face, but after seeing her naked, he suddenly harbored deep grudge towards the loose fitting robes that dared hide her beautiful figure like that. 

„Of course I’ve done it!“ he snapped, hating that he could smell sex on him. It was too good, too... God it was warm in the inn. 

„Just not recently“ Alucard teased, leaning over the table to kiss Sypha. It was a deeper kiss than what they usually shared, and when they pulled apart, a string of saliva stretched briefly between them. Trevor was captivated by their wet lips, his own mouth falling open slightly and eyes glazed, and the reaction did not go unnoticed by the pair. 

„Why Treffy, if I didn’t know better I’d say you were flustered“ Sypha giggled. 

„Am not! I just realized I have to, um- do something. I’ll be back“ he stood up so fast that the chair nearly fell with the movement, and he was out of the inn in less than a moment. 

„Where did he go?“ Sypha asked, now alert. What if they offended him? 

„He smelled like arousal, Sypha. What do you think he’s going to do?“ 

„Oh. I would love to see that, but we shouldn’t bully him. Lets seek him out a bit later, when we are sure he’s... done“   
Alucard grinned at that, and they proceeded to enjoy their breakfast. 

 

God, he couldn’t pull that sight out of his mind. They were like animals, naked and sweaty on crumpled sheets, Sypha’s short hair bouncing only a shade slower than her teats, and Adrians’ luxurious mane falling past his neck in golden waves. God, Sypha looked so out of it, and Adrian- no matter how controlled his movements would seem to an untrained eye, was mad with dominance, rabid with lust; it was so different to his normal, stoic nature that he couldn’t stop thinking about the contrast, wondering what it would feel like if /he/ was on the receiving end of such desire, such hunger. Would Adrian spread his legs like he did Sypha’s, or would he have him on his hands and knees, like the hounds mounts a bitch? His cock throbbed at the thought, and he all but ran into the woods, scared witless that someone would come across him while his pants were so tight on him that he worried they’d rip at the seam. Fuck... he leaned on a tree, chest heaving thanks to his labored breathing, and he shamefully unlaced his breeches, taking hold of his dick. He almost whimpered at the mere touch, biting into his lip. When he closed his eyes, he could see Sypha’s tits, God bless her and her tits; he slowly jerked himself to the thought of cumming onto her bosom, but arousing as it was, it just wasn’t complete. He couldn’t cum to just one or the other, he needed both of them, and he... he needed to be between them, yes, that was the ultimate fantasy, Adrian pounding into him from behind while he fucked Sypha senseless. He tried to imagine himself pleasuring her like Adrian did, making her boneless and witless alike, taming the lioness- but no, he didn’t have that sheer dominance Adrian oozed, he couldn’t feed her like he did. No, she would take charge with him, throw him on the bed and mount him like a horse, riding him for her own selfish pleasure. He’d lie for a thousand years if it meant seeing her cum while mounted on his cock, yes he would. Maybe she could tie his hands to the bedpost too, yes- he ran his thumb over the head of his cock at the thought, loving the idea- and Adrian could straddle his face and fuck his mouth. His lips parted at the thought, and he let his tongue stick out lightly, eyes closed as he imagined Adrian shoving his meaty cock past his willing lips and deep into his throat, ravaging him however he pleased. God, he wanted it, he wanted to feel that salty weight on his tongue, to have something in his mouth to dominate and claim him. Almost unconsciously, he shoved to fingers in his mouth, pressing down while continuing to jerk himself off. No, it wasn’t heavy enough, it wasn’t /big/ enough, he needed /more/... he added a third finger, pressing deeper, further... 

And promtply made himself vomit in his mouth. His hand left his dick while the other escaped his mouth, and he bent forward, hurling. Bile burned in his nose and in his throat, and his eyes watered at the gross sensation. He heaved once more, the contents of his stomach falling onto the forest floor in badly colored sticky lumps.   
„Fuck!“ he cursed, whipping his hands clean on his trousers, and quickly lacing them up, covering his shame. Sadly, he still was hard. God, how could he /still/ be hard?! Through the tree branches, he could see that the sun as changed position- he has been wanking it for at least an hour and STILL he couldn’t come! 

„Argh!“ he cursed wordlessly, resting his forehead onto a tree in frustration- and then he accidentally pressed his crotch onto it too. The pressure of hard, unrelenting wood actually felt... good. Quite good. Without considering the shame or absurdity of it all, he grind on it again, slowly as if to test sensation. 

„Ooh“ he moaned, bringing his hands to the trunk and moving his hips again, this time with more certainty. The wave of his hips now reminded him of what he could do if he was mounted on Adrian’s cock, he’d swing his hips just right, and Sypha would stand above him, letting him kiss her clit... 

„Ngh, Adrian... Sypha..“ it felt good to moan their names, even when grinding on a tree instead of on them, and his senses were overworked by seeking release. So much that he didn’t notice the snapping of the dry twigs on the ground. 

„Sypha, fuck yes, Adrian, please...“ 

„Yes Trevor?“

Huh? He looked up, mouth still open in a silent moan, and his eyes widened when he was met with the sight of very perplexed Adrian and Sypha. 

„OH FUCK!“ he yelled, jumping to hide behind his masturbation tree, and his loud reaction seemed to be the last straw for the duo of blondes, who have then found themselves falling over while laughing, Adrian plopping to his knees while Sypha was on her back with legs kicking out. 

„We even gave you time so we don’t see you with your hand down your pants!“ Sypha wheezed, rolling over on her side and clutching her belly, shoulders shaking with laughter 

„We just didn’t- who’d think of this?!“

„Shut up! As if you never felt- I mean- SHUT UP! It’s not funny!“ 

„Belmont it is hilarious, you were dry humping a tree for Heaven’s sake!“ Adrian countered, yelling at the tree instead of Trevor’s face, since their hunter was still hiding. 

„So what? Are you jealous maybe?!“ 

„Me, jealous of a tree?!“ 

Sypha calmed down into giggles and looked up at her lover. 

„Well, you are, at least a bit“ she teased, before calling over to Trevor. 

„We hoped to have you in our bed, Treffy, but if you already found love in the woods...“ 

He remained quiet for a moment, before peeking out. The sight alone of the hunter testing the waters like that would have sent them both into laughter again, but they felt they actually should discuss something, for which they needed to be at least semi serious. 

„What do you mean?“ Trevor finally said, and Sypha sat up, pulling Alucard to sit next to her. 

„I mean what I said- we want you in our bed. Not just for a sex adventure- we want to love you like we love each other“ she told him seriously, and one glance at Adrian confirmed that the dhampir was as serious about it as she was. „If you’d love us, of course. We don’t want to pressure you, and we will cherrish your friendship always. But if you, mayhaps, want to join is in this way...“ 

„The door is open“ Adrian concluded for her, taking her hand in his, rubbing soothing circles into her palm. What was he calming her down for? When they both sat like that next to each other, hand in hand and looking at him expectantly.... it was almost as if they were wary. Worried. Worried that he’d reject them. 

„I... you just saw me doing... that, and you want me still?“ 

„Well, we never claimed to love you for your wits“ Adrian admitted, trying to make a joke but his voice still heavy with fragile nerves. 

„I want it. You guys, I mean. I want in, what you’re offering. I... I have been thinking about it too.“ 

„We gathered“ Sypha smiled, standing up. She took a one step towards him, then another, and then she was running and she must have been aided by air because she rain into   
him for a hug with force too big for her small body to muster. 

„I’m so happy!“ she exclaimed, and he, moved by the impact and shared delight, twirled her around, her robes flying everywhere. When he stopped, his back collided with Adrian’s firm chest, and the dhampir pulled him close, Sypha in tow. 

„I’m delighted too“ he whispered into his ear, before moving to press a kiss to his pulse point. „I can’t wait to show you how to relieve yourself properly“ 

„You could do it now“ Sypha suggested giddily „The man’s still hard!“ 

Trevor blushed, and it only intensified when Sypha put his hand over his clothed cock. So good. So good, so close to what he imagined...

„What... Belmont, what’s this all over my coat? Is this vomit?!“ 

„What?“ both Trevor and Sypha moved away slightly, only to see Adrian take off his coat in a hurry, a look of disdain and slight panic on his face. Indeed, there was something white-ish staining the fine fabric, and quite a bit of it, actually. It dripped down onto the forest floor in sad little lumps, and Adrian appeared to be mortified. Slowly, Trevor looked back at where he and Sypha were sitting when making their confession. 

„Oh, yes... you sat in my vomit. I’m sorry“ he said, perhaps a bit too lightly. He bit his lip nervously when both Adrian and Sypha looked up to him. 

„You vomited? Why? Are you ill?“ Sypha asked immediately. 

„Not... exactly“ he said slowly, bringing his hand to his mouth to bite his thumb. 

„Then what? What happened? Why did this have to happen to my coat?“ Adrian asked, desperate for an explanation for such injustice. Poor man, he at least deserved the truth. 

„Well... you know, I wasn’t /just/ humping on a tree! I was... well, I was doing it traditionally before that. But I kind of... put my fingers in my mouth, I don’t know, and I, well... I guess I pushed in too deep, I don’t know, and there it happened!“ he concluded in a rush, crossing his arms almost petulantly. The way they were looking at him, you’d think no one ever had an accident before! 

„You made yourself puke while masturbating“ Sypha said slowly, as if to confirm. 

„It wasn’t on purpose!“ 

„Purpose or not, Belmont, my coat is ruined! You have to learn how to do it properly!“ 

„Well excuse me Mr. Vampire Sex Deity, I am not a schooled masturbator like you!“ 

„You’re impossible.“

„But you love me“ 

Adrian sighted, shaking out his coat to get the worst of the vomit out before folding it up so it doesn’t drip. 

„Yes, I do“ he admitted, seeming to come to terms with the tragic accident. „So here is what we are going to do. You are going to the inn and getting a bath. A nice, long one, I want you really clean, you hear me Belmont? Sypha, you will go and get us more oil- we will be needing more from now on. I am going to find someone whom I can pay to clean this mess, and when I come back...“ he smirked, looking Trevor straight in the eye and made a promise „I will teach you how to do it properly“.

**Author's Note:**

> This actually all started out when I got an image in my head of Trevor dry humping a tree- I meant for it to be like, 500 words, but it turned into this XD I don't know if comedy fits me, but I am really glad for this one XD If you liked it, please leave a review, if it please my lords and ladies- and if you have an idea for a one shot/longer shot you'd like to read, I am open for requests! I mean, if I write disasters such as this one I will pretty much write anything xD just make sure it is with the characters from the Netflix series, I didn't get through the games! Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed, cause I enjoyed writing it! <3 <3 <3


End file.
